Losing Myself
by A.O.D Angel of Darkness
Summary: I looked at the blade laying in front of me...-Mikan "Baby...don't...I love you Mikan" -Natsume... Rated T for suicide attempt.


Enjoy. One-shot ;] Dedicated to my BFF. I love you and you're worth everything that you think you aren't. Please don't ever try what you did that day again... Many here love you. my sissy, my cousin, my twin, my BFF...

Disclaimer: I only own the story.

* * *

Mikan: 

I was sitting here. Alone. In a dark room. I didn't really think about anything. My phone beeped, lighting up.

I started at it, My eyes dull. The phone darkened. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now...

I looked at the sky. Would I be able to leave this World today? I wondered...

It wouldn't be that hard. In fact, all I'd have to do is pull this blade across my arms. Over and Over...again.

Now I was starring at the blade that was laying in front of me.

Should I?

Then I remember... All the Words that were thrown at me. "Worthless"

"Hated"... "Brat"..."Ugly"..."Useless"..."Good-for-nothing"...

And on and on they went.

I teared up. I couldn't take it. Anger was taking over me, I was mad, angry, hurt.

I then knew that I was **_Losing Myself_**...

I grabbed the blade, not caring anymore and dragged it across my arm. I muffled my screams of pain into my pillow.

It hurt. There had to be an easier way out.

I wrapped my now bleeding arm in a towel and went to my bathroom, looking through the cabnets.

Finally I found them. My pills. Two Bottles.

I took them and dragged myself to my bed. My phone going off again.

**Mikan. Where are you?** It was a simple message. But I didn't care. He's a jerk anyway. Natsume doesnt care for me and never has...

I dragged the blade across my arms a few more times. Crying out in pain everytime.

I was about to take my Pills as my dorm-room opened and an rather angru natsume faced me.

"MIKAN! WHY WEREN'T YOU ANS-" I guess he finally noticed my bloody arms...

But I felt rather light headed...

"Mikan...?" His eyes soften... I love his eyes...so red, like the blood... Suddenly I past out, My world completely darken...

* * *

Natsume:

My Mikan wouldnt answer and I was getting worried... Pacing back and forth-until i got tired of waiting.

Angrily I stormed into her room.

"MIKAN! WHY WEREN'T YOU ANS-" Than I stopped. My eyes wide. Her arms were covered...covered in BLOOD!

Her face was pale...her eyes dull...

"Mikan...?"

and she...she looked so... No...NONONONONO. She wouldn't die on me.. never!

I barely caught her as she fell uncounicous.

I pulled her close, picked her up and dragged her to the hospital.

* * *

Now, I was losing my cool. The Girl I loved was in that room and there was nothing I could do.

I probably looked like a maniac, for everyone was starring now. But I didn't care... I just wanted Mikan do be alright...

I gritted my teeth in frustration...but most of all...in fear. I couldn't and didn't want to lose her, Ever.

She was my everything. My light. My Best Friend. My Lover. My Soul-mate. My Otherself... If she died... I would die with her...

After what seemed like forever, a doctor came out.

"She's fine. You can go see her now." I nodded at the smiling doctor. How could he smile when I almost lost the love of my life?

I walked into the room. She was sitting up and looked at me. She was teary-eyed...

I hugged her. "Its alright now, baby, I'm here... It's okay... shhh..." I let her cry and cry and cry.. as I held her tightly in my arms. "I love you, Mikan..."

* * *

Mikan:

I heard my hospital door open -I knew where I was, I recognized the white walls-and teared up as natsume walked in. He looked tired...hurt...

He walked uo to me and hugged, that's when I lost it and I started crying.

"Its alright now, baby, i'm here...It's okay...shhh..." He was talking to me. I heard every word... but they just made me cry more.

"I love you, Mikan..." My eyes widen at his last sentence. I pulled back and looked at him. He looked like someone important to him almost died...

Realization hit me like a cold rock. He loved me... . HE LOVED... ME?!

I then leaned in and kissed him. When I pulled back I said, "I'm Sorry Natsume... I love you, too..."

I looke at his eyes as he smiled and said,

"Now... there's one more thing... Could you promise me something?" I wiped my tears and nodded. "I'll promise you anything"

He replied, "Baby...Don't cut. Don't ever cut again. I can't lose you" Before his lips captured mine.

I vowed to myself than and there...i'd never do it again...

* * *

Every single person is important...so please...this is to everyone out there...DON'T CUT.

GO RED FOR SURVIVRS.

Thx for reading... I hope chu read it too... 'cause chu my bff... :[


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